Women who cheat on their men are usually driven by forces within themselves, and will do so regardless of their man’s actions. Your qualities as a partner – as a lover – are immaterial. If a women decides that her relationship is less than perfect, she’ll start scouting about to find someone with whom she can have that perfect relationship. Even though she’s the one who’s cheating, she’ll blame it on you because she thinks the flaws in the relationship are your doing.
“Emotional distance” is the term given to the first of these reasons. Women have a desire for emotional engagement. They want to feel loved and they want their man to pay attention to them. What do women want? It’s a question that’s been asked for centuries, and whatever responses have been given always seem to fall short. In a relationship, a woman wants to have her sense of worth fortified by her man. If, at the end of the day, she doesn’t feel that sense of worth, she’ll blame her man no matter what he’s actually done. Without the emotional closeness, the relationship’s on rocky ground, and a woman is often likely to step out in search of a new man.
The second reason women will cheat on their men is neglect. That’s logical, but it’s still fraught with pitfalls. The man who’s always underfoot, always in his woman’s face, will soon be considered to be clingy: too dependent, too needy, too immature – and too replaceable. She’ll feel claustrophobic. On the other hand, however, when a man realizes that he’s got to give his woman time on her own to grow, and enhance those things he loves about her, she might decide he doesn’t really care. She might decide he’s ignoring her, and she’ll use that space to find another man.
Women, like men, need to have a healthy sense of self-esteem, and they expect their men to provide a great deal of it. Even though they’re no longer dating, they want their men to carry on the “courtship behavior” of complimenting their appearance. From her viewpoint, another man will say and do the things necessary to boost her self-esteem. If a woman isn’t feeling good about herself, no matter what you’ve done to boost her self-esteem, there’s a good chance she’ll determine that your efforts are insufficient and start looking for someone who can make her feel better about herself.
The fourth reason a woman is likely to cheat is that the relationship’s really already over in all but name, and she’s already looking for her next mate. The woman who does this is particularly immature, because she needs the uninterrupted sense of being in a relationship as opposed to being on her own, strong, independent and in charge of her own life. The fact that she’s loath to end her relationship before attempting to form a new one suggests that her new man and her new relationship will probably suffer just as much from her lack of consideration and her immaturity.
Successful long-term relationships generally aren’t built on a foundation of cheating, and as much as it might hurt to admit, if your woman cheats on you, you probably don’t belong together. The trust and respect that absolutely must exist if a relationship’s going to be successful are destroyed when the woman cheats on her man. If a woman is unable to tell you that her needs aren’t being fulfilled, as we discussed above, then she’s likely not the right woman for you to be considering spending the rest of your life with.
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