I read an article recently that talked about women asking men out. Men appeared to find it flattering and some even seemed to prefer it. Unfortunately, when I put words into practice I failed miserably.

I’m a liberated woman and I don’t buy into the whole “the man has to do the asking” thing. It’s outdated and silly. Be that as it may, I hadn’t yet actually asked a guy out. None of the men that had crossed my path to that point were inducement enough to give it a try.

Of course that was bound to change, and it did. Early in my career I was on temporary assignment at a law firm. On my very first day I met “Adam”, a gorgeous, poised Associate Attorney. Though I was struck by his looks, I didn’t really give him much thought; the work took all my concentration.

As the week went on however, I would see this gentleman noticing me. He didn’t just acknowledge me as another employee, but he seemed to be attracted to me. I noticed that he would make special trips down to where I was sitting. He would flirt with me without saying a word. I came to the conclusion that this gentleman was indeed interested in me.

I wasn’t really sure what to do at first, but when I realized that the attraction went both ways the solution was simple. I was only going to be there for two more days, so I had to act fast. On my last day there, I gently pulled him aside and asked him out for lunch.

Given our obvious attraction to each other I was stunned when he hesitated in responding. Then he said he’d “get back to me”. Well, lunch time came and went and suffice to say I ate alone. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he had to work through lunch.

Before I said my goodbyes to the people I’d worked with, I left him a voice mail including my home phone number. The following week he still hadn’t gotten in touch, so not wanting to be a creepy stalker type, I let it go. I’m still not sure that I read him wrong though, he really seemed interested. Maybe he was just one of those insecure control types who has to do the asking.

The consequence of his action (or rather the lack thereof) is this; I’m now just that bit more hesitant about asking a guy out. The response I received wasn’t rude, but his follow up certainly was. I’m trying hard not to tar all men with the same brush, but it’s difficult! Heck I would’ve rather he’d told me a little white lie like “I’m seeing someone”.

Maybe men do like ladies who make the first move. Maybe I just picked the wrong man. Since I possess much chutzpah, I may try again in the future. When I do, I’ll be more certain this time. Women don’t appreciate rejection any more than men do. Believe me! So ladies if you do ask a man out first, good luck. Most men are flattered, but if you encounter a man who is old-fashioned be prepared. They are out there.