Why is it that married and attached people make it a mission in life to give unsolicited “how to catch a partner” advice to their single female friends? It’s annoying and usually not helpful at all, even though they mean well.

The truth? If you really want to give your un-coupled pal a leg up, then set her up with someone! Or rather than that, just continue being an awesome friend. Because that’s the most important thing any single person needs.

If dispensing dating advice is something that you feel you must do, then keep in mind these pointers;

1. “Stop being so picky!”

Um, excuse me? (That’s me pretending I’m single and you just said that to me.) Okay, reality check: girls can be too picky. Everyone can be too picky. Dumping a guy because his hair did this weird thing in a certain light that one time? Too picky. But you can’t say that to someone because what they hear is,”You should settle. You don’t deserve / will never find everything you want.”

Instead, point out specific instances where she maybe was a little hasty in giving a date the boot and kindly suggest that she be a little more forgiving of people being flawed.

2. “You need to relax it a bit”

Think about what you’d hear if someone said this to you. Chances are you’d interpret it as meaning that women with strong personalities are too intimidating for most men and that she has to choose between being an assertive and successful individual or part of a happy twosome.

What she wants is someone who will respect and love her for her strengths. Instead, try pointing out that there is a fine line between being independent and being unapproachable.

3. “It’s time to move on!”

A period of sadness filled with loneliness and regret usually accompany your friend’s latest breakup. She know it doesn’t make her very much fun to be around, but as her friend it’s your responsibility to be patient and understanding.

What no one needs are friends who take the first post-breakup signs that we might want to date again as an opportunity to lecture us on how we need to hurry up, get over it and get back out there. Everyone knows this. But also, everyone has to heal and move on in their own way, and in their own time. It’s your job as a pal to be there for every step of the process, not to rush them through.

This article was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds more helpful dating articles.

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