I never imagined such a thing happening. In fact it caught me quite by surprise. I even told my friends that I would not allow anything like this to happen to me. Oh boy, was I wrong? Boy was I very wrong.

During the cold bleak days of January, the beginning of a New Year, I was steadfast in my belief that this would be a year of change. I wanted both my professional and my social life to literally take off. Since I had a plan on how to succeed in business that part wasn’t difficult.

The social part? That was not so easy to fix. I hadn’t been on a serious date for about two years and my love life was best described as drought ridden. Though I was a bit shy about meeting someone new, I was due for some relief, so I threw caution to the wind.

I concluded however, if you can set up a strategy for business, the same can apply for the dating process. My first strategy was to be more open to meeting new people. Instead of driving to work, I now would take the subway. This allowed me to meet several business people while commuting to work. This process went on for about two months.

None of them clicked however. Most of the guys on the subway had their heads buried in a book or the morning paper. Although I admire (and require) intelligence in a date, I wanted to meet men, not watch them catching up on current events during their morning commute.

Another approach was clearly needed. Since a friend of mine had met with some success on an internet dating site, I decided to follow suit (after a bit of persuading). Because I’d never internet dated before I signed up at the same site as my girlfriend and she agreed to hold my hand (so to speak) while I created my profile.

I looking through the online profiles and was quite surprised to see such interesting sounding men. I immediately responded to about four or five of them. The very first guy who responded (let’s call him Joe) was everything I was looking for. We talked for a while then we met for a later dinner at a small restaurant. We talked for what seemed like hours. At the end of the night, we mutually discussed seeing each other once again. I could tell this was going to be a special experience.

It poured rain the next time we got together, so we met for lunch then went back to his place to watch a basketball game. The game was boring but Joe wasn’t! We laughed and talked all afternoon. Around dinner time the conversation took a more serious tone when Joe said he had something to tell me.

My heart stopped, as I waited for him to blurt out the one statement that could end our friendship. He told me that he was recently separated, and that his wife was about to have a baby. He said the marriage was over, but all I could see was that once the baby was born, they would be this one big happy family. I immediately knew I had to exit this potential nightmare.

The first thing I did to make sure this did not happen again was to cut off all communication from this man. It has been a year since we have spoken and I feel very good about my decision. Since then, I have met a man who I can truly call my own.

I’d always said I’d never date a married man. And yet I did, albeit unknowingly. It wasn’t something I planned, but once the facts came to light I knew I had to get out before things got too serious. Now I understand the women who told that you will never know what it feels like until you experience it for yourself.