Emotional affairs can be more damaging to a relationship then an affair that involved pure sexual lust or a one night stand. The fact that the heart and deep emotions were involved often strikes the person who has been cheated on much harder than knowing the spouse just fell in bed beside someone once or a couple times. So, is it possible to actually save a marriage after an emotional affair has taken place?

It is the emotional aspect that makes this situation so unbearable. Couples move past physical affairs and one night stands rather quickly, but the knowledge that one spouse had a serious intimate connection to someone else is much harder to brush aside or talk away.

There are a couple scenarios in which a marriage cannot move forward after this happens. The first scenario involves the person who was involved in the affair. That person has to first honestly assess whether they are over the emotional connection they had with this other person, or whether their heart is still in the affair. A marriage simply will not work if one person has more emotional investment with someone else.

If in fact the affair is over and the emotions have died down, or it is believed that the emotions for the spouse are much stronger, then the questions shift to the spouse that was cheated on.

Once the spouse that cheated has clearly stated that they want to save the marriage and are invested fully in doing so, it is up to the other spouse to open their heart and mind to that happening. They have every right to their own emotions, but in order for the union to survive they must be open to allowing trust to rebuild and new bonds to form within the couple.

Only if both people are open to moving forward and letting the affair go can it actually happen in time. It will not happen quickly and things can never be expected to return as they were before. Essentially a new connection and a new sense of trust must be actively sought until happiness is somehow restored.

In order to save a marriage after an emotional affair open-hearted communication will be essential. Bitter arguments or throwing dishes is not helpful, but really talking so that everyone feels heard and validated will lead to action that can genuinely heal both people in time.

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