At the age of 34, I have come begun to ask myself some important questions? Do I plan to date again? Should I try internet dating? Do I plan to get married? Should I have a baby? Am I happy with my career? These questions have forced me to make some major changes in my life and decide to do things differently.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate men. Oh no, to the contrary. I think they are beautiful works of art and have even had periods of fun with them. Usually when I am solo, I am extremely happy and at my best but upon entering a relationship, something somehow gets lost. I lose my identity and my happiness in the process. I’m not sure if it is me or him but something seems to go awry.
It’s only recently that I started feeling this way. When I started dating at 17, and had my first boyfriend at 20, my life’s plan went something like this; college, career, then marriage and two children. At least that was the plan. At age 34, the only part of that plan that’s come to fruition is the career.
Suffice it to say that my dating life has been one Mr. Wrong after another. Wrong for me, not wrong in general. I’ve tried internet dating, blind dates, the club and bar scene, networking events. Heck, there isn’t an avenue that I’ve left unexplored in my quest to meet a guy.
And even though I had a lot of fun along the way and met some really terrific people, the roller coaster ride of highs and lows was beginning to wear. Yes, youth is about having fun, but as I began to mature, that fun wasn’t so much fun anymore; it was more like a noose around my neck.
Somehow adulthood snuck up on me. Given that I was busy growing my career, putting food on the table and paying the bills, it’s not surprising that I really didn’t notice. But there came a day when it just wasn’t cute or funny when my boyfriend came home wasted. Nor was it funny when he sat across the restaurant table from me and flirted with other women.
After much though, I’ve decide to retire my number. This gal is going solo and grow old gracefully, if alone. Not having to share a bed has its ups and downs; no one to hog the covers, but no one to sex it up with either. I guess that’s what specialty catalogues and AA batteries are for!
I feel pretty good about myself. I no longer have to worry about my guy being unfaithful or being reminded of how pretty I was when we first met. I have a full live, with a great career and wonderful friends. Besides, being single doesn’t rule out an occasional steamy love affair. With that in mind, my solo days are off to a flying start, at least for now.
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