Ya know, having really good, understanding, caring, giving, selfless, supportive boyfriends is deeply overrated. Do you know what we ladies need more of in our lives? Really terrible boyfriends.
Life is too sweet; women need someone around to suck all the will to live right out of them. Any interest in being that person? Well, good for you, you little do-gooder! To help speed the process along, I’ve compiled the 4 best ways to go about being the consort from Hell:
Suck The Self Esteem Right Out Of Them
Start by being a Self-Esteem Sucker. How? By tearing your girlfriend’s confidence to shreds. Want to take things up a notch? While you’re flushing her self esteem down the toilet, beef up your own at the same time.
There are numerous techniques you can use to accomplish this; no one technique is better than another as long as they accomplish the same thing. You could start by telling her that yes, those pants do make her look fat, her best friend would in fact look better in that dress than she does. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to mention her flawed relationship with her mother, while yours is the picture of perfection.
Life’s Nothing Without Drama
What would life be without drama? Booooring!! So to do your bit, make sure you give your girlfriend a dose of drama every time she calls. And don’t wait for the pleasantries to be over! Heck no, just dive right in there. She’ll no doubt be fascinated to hear about how stressful your day was because you stubbed your toe getting out of bed and couldn’t make it to the dry cleaner’s before they closed because of the slow traffic.
Of course all this Drama is terribly time consuming. She’ll just have to understand that you have a busy life. After all, she is your girlfriend and she should know that you have things to do besides listen to her yap on the phone. Click.
Father Hen
Your poor, poor gal palwhat would she do without you? Honestly, if you weren’t there to tell her how to proceed in her career, relationships and family life, well, where would she be? If she’s made an unwise outfit/friend/vacation destination/meal choice, it’s really best to tell her what she ought to have done instead. Otherwise, how will she learn? Oh, and a condescending tone of voice never hurts.
Party Hearty
It might seem like it’s enough to be someone’s favorite bar buddy on the weekends, but hey, she can do better than that, right? She should go out with you every night! Because life is too short for icky little responsibilities! So what if she has an early meeting or is trying to cut back on the sauce to fit into her favorite dress? It’s your job to make playing the night away seem like the thing to do. And definitely don’t forget to make her feel like lame little lamb if she turn you down.
This article was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com company where you can find thousands of professional .
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