It takes work to make a relationship last. One thing that is sure to sabotage a couple is snide comments. Harmful remarks are hard to brush off sometimes and can build up causing resentment.

So what do you do if the catty comments continue? Eventually, even the most patient person will lash out. Here are a few ways to diffuse such situations. .

1. If it’s infrequent, try ignoring it. Assume that your partner just had a bad day and didn’t mean it.

2. If it happens a second and subsequent time, you should speak up. Let your partner know how those comments make you feel. Be specific and explain your feelings.

3. You may find couples counseling to be helpful. Weekly or monthly appointments may be useful, to resolve your issues. Let each other know what’s bothering you but also what you appreciate about each other.

A regular weekly or monthly appointment may help bring up issues that are causing conflict. At each session, begin with the good news. Each person can start by telling something that they appreciate about the other. From there, each partner can feel free to bring up events that have occurred that have caused the other pain. That way you can get to the root of the problem.

For the sessions to be the most beneficial, each person must feel they can safely express themselves. To facilitate this, explain your issues in non-blaming statements.

When you’re in a relationship it’s important to choose your battles. Sometimes we get short with one another but don’t really mean to cause pain. If it’s an isolated problem, then go ahead and let it slide. If you find it reoccurring, let your partner know how you feel before you have reached the end of your rope.

Regular counseling sessions can help when it comes to relationships. It’s a good opportunity to bring up problems or concerns before they become obstacles.

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