You can’t go forward until there is closure of an old relationship is the common belief. So is closure a must? My best explanation is, I think it is unique to every individual. Some people never really achieve what is viewed as closure and can still go on to have successful relationships.

What is closure anyway? Is it that ah-ha moment when you can let go of the past and have forgiveness? And is it absolutely necessary to be able to date again? Lets see:

A Comparison Between Dating & Relationships

When you are dating there really is no emotional commitment. There might be attraction and nervousness, going on but it’s at a pretty minor scale. Dating is like a practice run so there really isn’t any closure needed.

When comparing dating to a relationship it’s like comparing a ride in a canoe to one on a cruise ship. There is a whole lot more to a relationship especially when you have 100% of your love, your dreams and your future plans involved.

What we find is that with so much invested in a relationship the process of closure comes in the form of getting back and having control of once again our love, our dreams and our outlook of the future. Because until we have command of these things again we will find it very difficult to start the process of a successful future with someone new.

I Told You That To Tell You This…

Say you find someone else, and they look just the way you like, and they have the sense of humor you like, heck they even have great manners and smell good. The thing that sucks is if you are not in control of your feelings inside from your past relationship the new one doesn’t stand a chance.

This might not be what you want to hear but you should really hold off pursuing a relationship until you can be OK without having your ex in your life. Until you can move on without them refrain from getting into any relationship.

Does this mean if a relationship is out of the question you shouldn’t date? No, in fact some find dating again can help them get their hearts, their hopes and the plans back and own them once again.

Getting Back Your Emotions

Here’s the deal: when it comes to dating, closure after a breakup isn’t a necessity BUT closure is if you want to build a successful relationship. So if lasting relationship after a breakup is what you want, then it is well worth your time to practice some emotional wellness. Otherwise it is not fair to you or the other person, know matter what they smell like.

It might be one of the scariest things you have ever had to do, but taking control of your emotions is well worth it. You need to take a step back and look at the big picture, your happiness in the future, no matter how hard it is to get there.

There are times when it’s not the right answer to seek closure and move on. If you’re still in love with your ex you don’t have to move on until you’re ready to. You can get your ex back I can show you how. The Make Up Plan